There Are No Monsters
by hungrywhovianpotterhead
Summary: "saving people hunting things the family business Sammy" "there is no family business Dean... It's all in your head... Monsters aren't real."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay so this is an idea that popped into my head, and I just couldn't not write it, what if there were actually no monsters in SPN? What if it was all the insane coping mechanism of a child that couldn't accept his mother's death, one that never went away? This is the story of Sam Winchester, the boy who faces the challenge of caring for a brother that has no grasp on reality, and see's monsters wherever he looks. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any of it's characters. **

_**saving people hunting things the family busines**__**there is no family business Dean... It's all in your head... Monsters aren't real.**_

When I was a baby, there was a fire that started in my nursery, a night light shorted out, and started the blaze, my mother died in that fire, and I was only saved by my father and brother. My father always secretly blamed me, and treated me like a freak, because if I hadn't been born, the fire wouldn't have happened. It was the opposite with my brother, but that's because that was the night something happened with Dean's brain.

Something clicked in his four year old brain, and reality changed forever. At first everybody just thought it was a coping mechanism to deal with the loss of his mother, and that may be how it started, but it never stopped. Dean never stopped believing in the monsters. He saw them everywhere he went, and even started to devise all of these stories in which me, him, and dad, went out and hunted the monsters. Said it was "The Family Business."

When I was little I thought it was a game, and didn't understand why adults would give Dean those sad looks, and whisper. Dad noticed it too, so one day we up and left, leaving all of the people we knew behind, and started traveling the country in his 1967 Chevy Impala. I never quite knew what dad did to keep us moving, only that we never stayed anywhere for more than a few weeks.

It was only when I started to get older that I noticed something wrong with my brother, how when dad was away for a few days on his trips, Dean would wake me up, and say we had to go, that dad was in trouble, and that we had to go save him. Then he would just go away, and dad would be back by morning, and Dean would talk about how we saved him from a Rugaru, or vampire, sometimes even ghosts, and we would be back on the road again.

I remember the one time we actually stopped somewhere for more than a few days, because dad ran into an old college buddy. Bobby Singer, and Bobby took us in, saying that his home would be our home. Those were the best months of my life, the time we spent at Uncle Bobby's.

It didn't take long for Bobby to realize that there was something wrong with Dean, the way he would randomly wake up screaming, or wander off into the night, returning with some outrageous story about monsters in the woods close to the junk yard.

He also caught Dean trying to pick the lock on the gun cabinet, and carving what he called devil's traps into the porch, said it was to keep the monsters out. That's when he went to dad, and told him that Dean needed help, that my brother was sick.

Dad started shouting, and calling Uncle Bobby names. Uncle Bobby shouted back, threatening to call the police, and have us taken away. That was when dad, packed us into the car and told Bobby he would never see us again, that there was nothing wrong with his son, that Dean was just going through a faze.

That was just the start, it only got worse from there Dean became more bold and angry, his episodes becoming longer. He started to completely lose his grip on reality. The worst time, dad was gone, and Dean got into one of his moods, and started to plaster the walls with things about monsters, and talking about hunting it down and killing it.

He started scaring me, sleeping with a gun under his pillow, I don't even know where he got it, but he hid it under his pillow, and waking me up in the middle of the night, and making me follow him into the night, telling me we were about to hunt a ghost that had been spotted in the woods.

We were out there all night, with Dean warning me about the ghosts. Me telling him I was cold, and tired, and just wanted to go home.

Dean never listened, said I was just feeling a ghost, and should suck it up, if I was going to help him and join the "family business." I remember telling him I didn't want to join the family business, Dean didn't like that, and he told me that I didn't have a choice, not if we were going to catch the thing that killed mom.

When he finally decided we could go back to the motel, he went to sleep, and woke up several hours later, and told me what a good job we did the night before killing that ghost, and never brought it up again, that was when I called Uncle Bobby, and told him I was afraid of my older brother.

Uncle Bobby came right away, we took Dean to a place, that said it specialized in troubled teens, and then went back, and waited for dad to come back. When he did, he was angry, he didn't like that Uncle Bobby was there, and was even angrier that he had sent Dean to get help. He pulled him out of the place right away, telling Uncle Bobby that if he caught him near us again he would kill him.

The thing is, the place seemed to have helped Dean, at least for a while, but then it got bad again, but no matter what dad wouldn't get him help.

That's how it went for the next five years. Until I became an adult, and together with Uncle Bobby, Ellen, and Rufus, we committed Dean into a mental hospital, even though in the process my own father disowned me. Dean has been safe for a year now, and I still get to see him, and I think he's finally getting better, at least I hope so.

**please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N hey guys, so I got a really into this story, and I hope I can keep up the momentum, right now I'm still laying down the groundwork for the rest of the story, I hope you like it, and just so you know, there won't be much Dean for a while yet, and I just realized that I goofed something in the first chapter, and insinuated that Sam is only 18 or 19, when he should be 22, but yeah, this takes place in the same year as season 1. Sorry about any confusion, Sam is 22. **

**disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, or any of it's characters, and do not make any money off of these fanfictions. **

**enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"How are you doing Dean?" I ask, sitting down in the table across from my brother.<p>

Dean snorts, "Great Sammy, just great. I'm surrounded by monsters, and I can't even hang onto my silverware!" he says, wringing his hands, as his eyes dart around the room.

I sigh, "Dean…"

Suddenly his eyes focus on me, with a shocking clarity, "Sam, you've got to get me out of here." He says slowly, "They're gonna kill me Sammy, they're monsters."

I shake my head, "No Dean, they're doctors, and they're trying to help you."

"I don't need help" Dean starts, "Okay, I take that back, I do need your help, I need your help getting out of here!" Dean says, his voice rising sharply, "You have to do this Sammy! We're brothers!"

I rub my eyes, Dean has his good days, and his bad ones, and it looks like today was a bad one, "no Dean." I say, looking him in the eye.

"What's wrong with you? Who are you?" Dean asks, rising from his seat, "What are you? Why are you impersonating my brother?"

"Dean what are you talking about? It's me, Sam."

Dean pushes the table out of the way and charges me, "What have you done with my brother?" he growls pushing me back against the wall. "Where is he?"

"Dean…" I start, but then my brother is ripped away from me, and pinned to the ground, shouting, and demanding to know what I had done with his brother.

"Are you hurt?" asks a nurse, looking me up and down.

I wave her away, "I'm okay." I say, watching as they inject my brother with a sedative, and his eyes roll up into the back of his head. "I think." I start, "I think I should go." I say, guilt rising in the back of my throat, I'm the reason Dean is here. But god knows where he would be without this place.

"Get him back to his room." Orders one of the doctors.

I brush the hair out of my eyes, still shaken by Dean's sudden attack. I can't believe how quickly it turned, one second he was fine, while at least fine in Dean's case. Then he was at my throat, and screaming.

The nurses lift Dean onto a stretcher and wheel him out, he's still muttering something about shifters, and silver, and saying he needs to find me before it kills me.

"Mr. Winchester. Would you like someone to show you out?" a nurse asks.

I shake my head, "No, I know where it is." I tell her, before slipping past, sometimes I wonder if this place is even helping Dean, because he never seems to get any better. But whenever I do think of it, I remind myself, they have nineteen years of issues to sort out, because Dad had always been too pigheaded and stubborn to admit his son was sick.

"Have a good visit with your brother, Sam?" asks Meg, a nurse that has worked here since we committed Dean a year ago. Meg is an average sized woman, with a round face and dark curly hair, and Dean insists, a demon.

"No." I admit, running a hand through my hair, it's getting shaggy, any day now Jess will make me cut it. "I guess today was a bad day, he didn't even believe I was me, thought I was a shapeshifter, or something."

Meg looks at me with sympathy, "I'm sorry hun." She says, "But everybody has their bad days. Even if Dean's bad ones seem worse than others." She says, her eyes are gentle, and I can tell she cares.

"Yeah, I know." I say, leaning on the counter.

"Hey, I was wondering…" Meg starts, "You got any plans tonight?" she asks.

I pause, had I never told Meg I was dating Jess? "Uh yeah, actually my girlfriend and I, we were going to go to a party tonight." I say smiling at her.

Meg flushes, "Right of course, sorry." She says, flustered, "I didn't mean anything by it, promise. Just thought, never seen you with anyone before…"

I shrug pushing back from the counter, "Hey, no big deal, I just wasn't sure I was ready for Jess to meet Dean is all, having a mental patient as a brother might run some girls away." I explain.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, it's terrible yeah, but I know."

"Hey, I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get going, Jess gets off in an hour and I'm supposed to be ready to go." I say, backing up pointing to the doors over my shoulder with my thumb.

"Yeah, of course, have a good night Sam." She smiles sweetly, then thinks of something, "and happy Halloween."

I laugh, raising a hand in farewell, "Happy Halloween Meg. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Sam."

* * *

><p>Outside the wind is colder than it was when I went in, cyclones of leaves flying across the ground beneath my feet, as I walk towards my car, dad's old Chevy Impala, I got it by default when he died of a heart attack earlier this year. I still haven't told Dean that happened, I was going to tell him today, but it turned out not to be the right time.<p>

If dad had, had his way, I wouldn't have gotten anything when he died, but since Dean was sick, and in no condition to care for the car I got it instead, because the car, and all of its contents were all that dad owned. That's what happens when you go off the grid. You die and leave nothing but an old car, full of junk for your kids.

Not that all of it is junk, I kept the boxes of old tapes that dad made for our road trips, mostly music from the seventies an eighties, but it doesn't matter, they still play, still sound good. So I kept them, to remind me of when things were good, and it was just the three of us on the road, jamming to Bon Jovi, and ACDC.

Other than that, I kept dad's journal, an old beat up book, that was thick and dirty from all the years he used it, and a sawed off shotgun, which I kept in the trunk, unloaded, just in case.

I get in, and turn the ignition, closing my eyes as the engine roars to life. It brings back memories, even after all this time, I listen to the rattle of blocks in the heater, from the Lego's that Dean shoved inside the vents, and I smile.

Opening my eyes, I adjust the mirror, the necklace I had given to Dean all those years ago, dangling from it, and put the car in gear. Pulling away from the hospital, and heading back in the direction of Stanford campus. To get ready for the Halloween party, that Jess is insisting we go to.

The truth is, I hate Halloween, always have since I was a kid. Dean was always at his worst on Halloween, always swearing that the kids that were out trick-or-treating weren't just dressed as monsters, but were actual demons, vampires, and werewolves.

I tried to move on now that I'm dating Jess, but somehow it just didn't work like that, the unease from when I was a kid, wouldn't go away, if anything it grew. I always feel uncomfortable around kids dressed as monsters, because my brother always told me they were.

Jess doesn't understand that, that's the reason I never want to dress up, and why I don't enjoy going to Halloween parties.

My phone rings, I pull it out of the glove box it's Jess, "Hey, I'm on my way." I say, my mind still lost in the past, dwelling on the childhood that I had because of my brother's sickness, and my father's ignorance.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review<strong>

**Winchester pick ups to all of my brilliantly fantastic readers, until next time allons-y! **


End file.
